I wish I never listened to the medical and psychiatric community when they told me it was possible to change my sex. What a lie. Very dangerous and unethical. Sex reassignment surgery is a hit and miss type of surgery, but they don't tell you that. They never do. And maybe if I didn't have autism, maybe if my brain wasn't so defective, I would have caught on before it was too late. I wish there was a cure for autism, but that's unlikely. It's endless suffering on top of even more suffering. I also wish voluntary euthanasia was legal. My death, likely painful, has proven that ethics are not universal and are otherwise non-existent. No one is truly there for me. There's no need to pretend. I have a gaping hole in my genital area with my colon spilling out (disgusting) and a ring of scar tissue blocking most of the entrance. If the colon can't discharge, that leaves it with severe blockage, which then could turn (and likely expected) into blood clots, followed by death. I've already reached the stage of blockage. What hurts me the most is the loneliness and the inability to find a partner. I can't have a normal sex life. I'm a loser and I probably deserve this deception. This is what I get for messing with nature. Mankind is destructive and I self-destructed. I just wanted friendship and love. I wanted life to be easier. I wanted to be a woman since I was 15. I wish I had the knowledge that I have today. I was a confused kid with no identity. I wish I could have done everything different, but it's too late now. I'm royally screwed. Dr. Thomas Satterwhite and Dr. Maurice Garcia, both in California and who are my original surgeons, have basically killed me. With accessory to my death is Dr. Miroslav Djordjevic, Dr. Rajveer Purohit, Dr. Rachel Bluebond-Langner, and Dr. Jess Ting, who all refused to help me despite having letters by 1 psychiatrist and 2 Clinical Social Workers recommending reversal surgery and my detransitioning. My last wish is for the State of California and State of New York to press mutilation and criminal charges against these monsters, but they won't because people like me don't matter. There will be no accountability since malpractice is impossible to prove, especially with no lawyers willing to help me. There will be more victims of the false promises of changing your body into someone you can never be. The Transgender Ideology and its lies, along with the pro-gay media, medical and psychiatric community, have killed me. The feminization of America will continue to produce outcomes like mine. It wasn't my fault for failing. Everyone failed me, my death shouldn't surprise anyone. I hope they're all happy now. They've doomed me to choose between a life of suffering and death. No one cares enough to help me, they want me to wake up in pain everyday and suffer. No pain medication, no surgery, no empathy, and no pleasure. I hope to be remembered in positive light, but no doubt I'll be labeled mentally ill and a fool. I've always meant well. It was my kindness and trusting at face value that screwed me (like always).